Alright, let's get one thing straight: another freakin' restaurant chain is biting the dust. This time, it's Outback Steakhouse. Closures are happening, and they're trying to spin it as a "turnaround strategy." Give me a break.
The "Turnaround" That's Really a Retreat
So, Bloomin' Brands, the overlords of Outback, are closing 21 locations this month alone. Twenty-one. And they're not renewing leases on another 22 over the next four years. That's a lot of Bloomin' Onions going offline. They say it's a "comprehensive turnaround strategy." What that really means is "we screwed up, and now we're trying to stop the bleeding."
Bloomin' Brands CEO Mike Spanos said, "Outback Steakhouse has incredible brand equity." Oh, really, Mike? Then why are you closing restaurants left and right? Brand equity doesn't pay the bills when nobody's walking through the door.
And get this: they're pausing shareholder dividends to "preserve cash." Translation: "We're broke, and we need to hoard every penny we can find." I bet those shareholders are thrilled.
They're promising better-quality steaks and more attentive service. Newsflash: people don't go to Outback for gourmet dining. They go for the Bloomin' Onion and the vaguely Australian-themed decor. If I wanted a good steak, I'd go to a real steakhouse, not a place that slaps a shrimp on the barbie.
The Remodel Mirage
Oh, and the remaining restaurants are getting a "makeover" by 2028. Brighter interiors, smaller kitchens, bigger order pickup stations. I'm sorry, but are they trying to turn Outback into a fast-food joint? Because that's what it sounds like. I still don't get the concept of take-out steak, do you?
They're spending $75 million on this "reinvestment plan." That's a lot of money to throw at a sinking ship. I wonder how much of that actually goes into improving the food, and how much goes into executive bonuses. I'm guessing it ain't much going into the food.
Meanwhile, LongHorn and Texas Roadhouse are thriving. What's their secret? Maybe it's because they're not trying to be something they're not. They're serving affordable steaks in a casual atmosphere, and people are eating it up. Literally.
Offcourse, Denny's and Ruby Tuesday are also closing locations. It's a freakin' bloodbath out there in the casual dining world. Denny’s, Outback Steakhouse & Ruby Tuesday abruptly closing dozens of locations leaving diners scrambling. Is this the end of an era? Are we all going to be eating Soylent Green in a decade?
And what about the employees who are losing their jobs? Bloomin' Brands says they'll "have a chance to work at nearby restaurants if possible." How generous of them. I'm sure that's a huge comfort to someone who just lost their livelihood.
I saw one report say that these closures were decided on after a "periodic review." So, they just woke up one morning and said, "You know what? Let's close a bunch of restaurants!" Or maybe they just looked at the numbers and realized they were screwed. Details on why the decision was made remain scarce, but the impact is clear.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe Outback really does have "incredible brand equity," and this is all part of some master plan to dominate the casual steakhouse market. Yeah, and maybe pigs will fly.
So, What's the Real Story?
This ain't a "turnaround." It's a slow-motion train wreck. Outback had its moment, but that moment is over. They're trying to slap a fresh coat of paint on a crumbling foundation, and it's not going to work. The Bloomin' Onion empire is shrinking, and it's only a matter of time before it fades away entirely.