Alright, let's get this straight. Cathie Wood, the queen of "disruptive innovation" (eye roll), is selling some Tesla to buy more Amazon? Someone explain this to me like I'm five.
The Tesla "Trim"
So, ARKK sold a chunk of Tesla. 181,300 shares or so. Big whoop. They still own over a BILLION dollars worth. It's like selling a few crumbs from your overflowing breadbasket and pretending you're on a diet.
Wood claims Tesla's going to hit $2,600 by 2029. Seriously? That's some serious hopium. It's based on robotaxis and humanoid robots taking over the world. I mean, Optimus Prime doing my laundry? Give me a break.
Ark's valuation apparently hinges on robotaxis bringing in 63% of Tesla's projected $1.2 trillion revenue in 2029. Robotaxis. In 2029. Has anyone actually used a reliable self-driving car recently? Oh, wait, they don't exist yet.
And don't even get me started on Optimus. Wood thinks humanoid robots are a $24 trillion opportunity. Maybe. Maybe pigs will fly and I'll win the lottery. The thing is Wood told CNBC that these robots are going to make everyone more productive. By doing our laundry? Is that really the future we were promised?
Hello, Amazon
Instead of doubling down on Elon's electric dreams, Wood is throwing more money at Amazon. 554,000 shares, worth $127.5 million. Okay, Amazon actually makes money now, unlike some other EV companies I could mention. According to a recent report, Cathie Wood Is Selling Tesla and Buying This "Magnificent Seven" Stock Instead.
Amazon's got the e-commerce thing down. They can deliver anything to your door in two days. And AWS is printing money in the cloud. Fine, I get it. It's a safer bet than robotaxis. Is it exciting? Not really. Is it "disruptive"? Please.
But wait, Amazon also laid off 14,000 employees. "To reduce bureaucracy," they say. Translation: To make the stock price go up. Offcourse, investors cheered. Because that's what matters, right? Not the actual human beings who lost their jobs.
Amazon's trading at 34 times forward earnings. Not cheap, but not insane. I guess. Maybe I'm just too cynical to see the upside. Or maybe I'm just tired of everyone pretending that tech companies are saving the world when they're mostly just selling us stuff we don't need.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here.
So, What's the Real Story?
It's simple: Cathie Wood is playing the game. She's gotta keep the hype train rolling to attract investors. Dump a little Tesla, pump a little Amazon, and hope nobody notices the smoke and mirrors. I ain't buying it.