The Fed's $29B "Oopsie": Bitcoin Lifeline or Just Another Rigged Game?
Okay, so the Fed "injected" $29.4 billion into the banking system. "Injected." Sounds like a freakin' sci-fi movie, doesn't it? Or maybe a back-alley doctor trying to revive a corpse. Either way, the crypto bros are all hyped up, thinking this is some kind of divine intervention for Bitcoin. Give me a break.
The Repo Racket: Explained (Sort Of)
Let’s get real. This whole "repo" thing is deliberately confusing. They throw around terms like "quantitative tightening" and "Treasury General Account" to make it sound like they know what they're doing. It's all smoke and mirrors. Here's my translation: The banks screwed up, again, and the Fed had to bail them out. Except they call it "easing liquidity concerns." Right.
Apparently, banks need "reserves" to function. Who knew? And when those reserves get low, because, offcourse, they're gambling with our money, they start sweating. So, the Fed steps in, prints a few billion, and suddenly everything's fine. For now.
But here's the kicker: they're saying this isn't quantitative easing (QE). Oh no, this is just a "reversible, short-term liquidity tool." As if we're supposed to believe that. It's like saying a shot of heroin is just a "reversible, short-term relaxation aid."
Andy Constan, some CEO guy, said it'll "all work itself out fine." Yeah, sure. That's what they always say before the whole thing collapses.
Miners Go Meta: From Crypto to AI
And now we've got Bitcoin miners pivoting to AI. Because why not? Apparently, their "large-scale power infrastructure" is now crucial for AI data centers. I'm not making this up.
Bernstein—another Wall Street firm I'm sure we can trust—is all over this, raising price targets for CORZ, RIOT, and CLSK. CORZ, RIOT and CLSK Earn PT Hikes at Bernstein They've abandoned their "discounted cash flow methodology" in favor of some "sum-of-parts valuation." Sounds legit.
So, now Bitcoin miners are suddenly AI companies? It's the same old game, just a different shiny object. They'll pump up whatever narrative keeps the money flowing, even if it makes absolutely no sense.
Shareholders rejected some deal with CoreWeave, which Bernstein thinks is great because it gives management "more room to optimize value." Optimize for whom? Themselves, probably.
IREN was up 21% after some AI cloud deal with Microsoft. Another coincidence, I'm sure.
So, What's the Play?
Honestly, I don't even know anymore. Are we supposed to be excited about the Fed's bailout? Or the Bitcoin miners becoming AI gurus? Or just keep our heads down and pray the whole system doesn't implode?
It's all so exhausting. This constant cycle of hype, crash, and reinvention. Maybe I'm just getting old.
