Okay, so futures are "little changed" on Monday? Give me a break. It's like watching paint dry, except the paint is the hopes and dreams of every chump who thinks they're gonna get rich quick on the stock market. S&P 500 up 0.17%? Nasdaq-100 a whopping 0.26%? Woo-hoo, let's break out the champagne... or, you know, maybe just keep grinding away at that soul-crushing 9-to-5.
The AI Hype Train Keeps Chugging
The article says October saw gains "driven in part by continued momentum in the artificial intelligence trade." Translation: people are still throwing money at anything with the letters "A" and "I" slapped on it, even if it's just a glorified calculator. Tom Lee from Fundstrat is quoted saying the earnings picture is strong, "supported by AI spending visibility." Visibility? What visibility? I see a bunch of overhyped startups burning through cash faster than a bonfire at Burning Man.
And Palantir and AMD are reporting this week? Great. More opportunities for CEOs to spout buzzwords and pump up their stock prices. Let's be real: most of this "AI revolution" is just marketing fluff. It's like the dot-com bubble all over again, except this time, instead of Pets.com, we're getting Robot Dogs.com.
Shutdowns and Supreme Court Shenanigans
Oh, and the government's shut down, ofcourse. Can't even get the monthly jobs report on time. Because, you know, knowing whether people are actually employed is somehow less important than politicians bickering over who gets to control the levers of power.
And the Supreme Court's gonna hear arguments about Trump's tariffs? Seriously? We're still dealing with that mess? It's like a bad hangover that just won't quit. I swear, sometimes I think the entire country is just one giant episode of "The Twilight Zone." Are we really supposed to pretend that tariffs are a good idea?
Speaking of bad ideas, I saw a guy on the subway the other day wearing socks with sandals. It reminded me of this whole market situation – fundamentally wrong, yet somehow, inexplicably, still happening.
November: Historically the Best Month? Yeah, Right.
The article mentions that the S&P 500 averages a 1.8% gain in November, making it the "strongest month historically." Okay, Nostradamus, tell me what the weather's gonna be like next Tuesday, too. Past performance is not indicative of future results, people. That's like, Investing 101. And besides, "historically" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
Wake Me Up When the Bubble Bursts
So, what's the real deal? Wall Street's gonna keep riding the AI wave until it crashes. And when it does—and it will—a lot of people are gonna be left holding the bag. I'll just be over here, sipping my coffee, waiting for the inevitable.
