So, let me get this straight. One guy, who fancies himself the Warren Buffett of Bitcoin, turns a tiny Utah healthcare clinic into a crypto holding company, watches its stock plummet 98%, and then has the gall to tell short-term investors to get lost.
Meanwhile, some NASDAQ-listed company out of China that nobody’s ever heard of suddenly announces it’s plowing a billion dollars into Bitcoin yield farming.
All of this is happening while the actual adults in the room—the Federal Reserve—are reminding everyone that the magic money printer isn't going back to full-blast anytime soon, causing Bitcoin to stumble. It’s a perfect storm of delusion, hubris, and the cold, hard slap of reality. And honestly, I’m here for it.
The Berkshire Hathaway of Bitcoin... or a Penny Stock?
Let’s start with David Bailey. This guy is a character. He runs Bitcoin Magazine, pals around with Trump, and sits in front of a painting of a burning bank during meetings with actual bankers. Theatrics, you gotta love it. His grand vision is to turn his new public company, Nakamoto (ticker: NAKA), into the "Berkshire Hathaway of bitcoin."
It's a bold plan. No, 'bold' doesn't cover it—this is a five-alarm dumpster fire of a plan.
He executed this masterpiece by merging with a $2.7 million healthcare company called KindlyMD. Why? Because it’s a shortcut to the NASDAQ, a way to get public without all that pesky IPO scrutiny. To fund his Bitcoin shopping spree, he did a bunch of private deals (PIPEs), selling shares at a massive discount. And what happened next was so predictable it hurts. The moment those investors could sell, they dumped the shares, flooding the market and cratering the price from over $30 to under a dollar.
Bailey’s response was to write a letter basically telling anyone who wasn’t a true believer to hit the bricks. He calls them "expensive capital." I call them rational actors who just made a quick buck off his grand vision. Does he not understand how this works? You can't sell your soul for capital and then get mad when the devil comes to collect. He wants "long-term aligned partners," but his financing strategy was custom-built for hit-and-run traders. The whole thing ain't adding up.
He wants to build the next great financial institution, and yet... his own investors ran for the exits at the first opportunity. What does that say about the foundation he's building on? Is this the future of finance, or just another crypto soap opera with a CEO who’s a little too in love with his own narrative?
Meanwhile, in China: The 'Compliant' DeFi Dream
Then you have Jiuzi Holdings. Out of nowhere, this Chinese e-vehicle company announced a partnership with something called SOLV Foundation to create a $1 billion Bitcoin treasury, per the announcement Jiuzi Holdings Launches $1B Bitcoin Treasury with SOLV. They’re pitching it as a "compliant DeFi gateway for global institutions."
Give me a break.
Let’s translate the PR-speak. Jiuzi’s CEO says this will "unlock a clear path to immense value creation." Translation: "We really, really hope this pumps our stock." SOLV's CEO talks about "building a bridge of trust." Translation: "Please, Wall Street, we swear we’re not like the other crypto guys who lost all your money. You can trust us."
This is the new crypto playbook. The rebellious, anti-establishment rhetoric is gone. Now it’s all about being "compliant," "regulated," and "institutional-grade." It’s like watching your favorite punk band from high school release a schmaltzy Christmas album. They're selling out, but they’re trying to convince you it’s artistic growth.
And for what? To create complex financial products on top of an asset that’s still completely tethered to the whims of Jerome Powell. Bitcoin dipped below $108,000 simply because the Fed chairman didn't promise enough future rate cuts, a reaction that saw Bitcoin Extends Losses as Powell Cautions Against Rate Cut Bets. These guys are building billion-dollar sandcastles, pretending the tide of traditional finance can't just wash it all away in an afternoon. Offcourse they are. It’s all a performance. Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one for expecting any of this to make sense.
So We're Just Pretending Now?
At the end of the day, these are two sides of the same tarnished coin. On one side, you have the self-styled visionary whose grand plan is imploding on a public stock exchange. On the other, you have the corporate entity using a nine-figure press release to pivot into the crypto hype machine. Both are selling a story. A story about a new financial world, about institutional adoption, about being the smart ones in the room.
But the reality is a 98% stock crash and a market that still trembles when a guy in a suit adjusts interest rates. The "future of finance" looks an awful lot like the past, just with more buzzwords and a whole lot more desperation. They aren't building bridges; they're building billboards. And I’m not buying what they’re selling.
